Almost all my life I have struggled with my identity. Being a child born from immigrant parents and having a unique and complicated name made my childhood difficult. I just wanted to fit in with my peers. I cringed every time my teacher would call out my name because sure enough, they would unintentionally butcher it. I often wondered why my last name couldn’t just be a common surname like Smith or even Doe. Even up until recently I struggled with what I could identify with even going as far as toying with the idea of legally changing my name.
After much thought and deliberation, I realized how selfish and confusing it would be. I didn’t want to separate myself from my family. It would be one thing to get married and change my surname, but changing my name on a whim because I didn’t like it? It just doesn’t sit right with me. I grew up with a lot of teenage angst given my parent’s separations, my mother’s death, and gaining a stepfamily, but all those things they shaped who I am today. Every day, I find myself changing and most times, for the better.
Now that I’ve let that go and accepted me, my quirks, my flaws, and my aspirations. I can finally say I’m content with myself and I’m happy being me.